Himself
by SonicH2O
Summary: “Aren’t you suppose to be at camp?” he asked her, a slight bitterness creeping into his voice.“Aren’t you suppose to be a prisoner?” she retorted, sipping her milk. Jate Episode 3x13 and 3x15 Spoilers


_Based on spoilers for episodes 13 and 15 or Kate's next episode and "the deal" Kate finds out about, my version of the Jate confrontation. _

_And please read and **REVIEW**, nothign makes me ahppier then to see the reviews for one shots hit double digits. _

* * *

The ropes dug into her wrist as she shifted uncomfortabley on the cold metal floor. The others were smart, they weren't showing her a new room, this is where they had kept Jack. Despite the fact that she was furious at him, she gained a new appreciation for his patience; how he had stayed sane living in this cold, dark, echoing room for 8 days was beyond her. The door screeched open, causing her to flinch.

Bracing herself for the worst, she was surprised to see Jack walk in through the door. Alone. Not in chains. Well, she realized she shouldn't have been that surprised, after what Ben had told her. About Jack's "deal". That she had come back to "rescue" him, when really he was just abandoning them. Leaving the island.

He carried a tray of food to her, if not for the situation she would have laughed at the fact that it was a sandwich and not the boar meat and mangoes she had grown use to over the last few months. Avoiding her eyes, he silently untied her hands and pushed the tray towards her, stepping back and leaning onto the obscure metal object that acted as the rooms center piece.

She gave him a distrustful look, one that was meant to stab into him, conveying her hurt and anger at him, for making her feel like she had abandoned him, when it was really the other way around. The Jack she knew would have flinched, he might have scolwed back at her, he probably would have yelled. This Jack, stared back at her, his face blank.

"Aren't you suppose to be at camp?" he asked her, a slight bitterness creeping into his voice.

"Aren't you suppose to be a prisoner?" she retorted, sipping her milk.

He grunted, and moved so that the table physically separated them, because, Kate thought wryly, they obviously had been so close before.

"Your free to go back to camp, just as soon as you finish eating." He said, calmly, too calmly, in an almost mechanical voice. The kind that sounded practiced, like he was talking to a patient, or an acquaintance he cared nothing for. Which they both knew was a lie.

"Why?" she asked, surprised.

"I made a deal with them," he answered, his voice lowering, and his fist clenching on the edge of the strange metal centerpiece.

"Your getting quite good at that aren't you Jack?" when he raised his head in confusion she elaborated "Making deals" she all but snarled.

"What s that suppose to mean?" he questioned, his voice soft, but still distant.

Kate felt her back straighten at his indifference, angry that every one of the survivors meant that little to him. That SHE meant that little to him. That, as soon as Ben was healthy, that he could leave the island alone and never look back.

"You know what it means!" she yelled this time, unable to control the anger coursing through her. This was JACK, not Sawyer, the man who had told her "live together die alone", he was the good one. The one she wasn't allowed to touch because she would break him, yet here she was, a murderer, disgusted with something he, a doctor, was willing to do.

Straightening himself, Jacks eyebrows scrunched together, his eyes crinkling as if attempting to remember what he could have done. When he made no attempt to respond she sighed angrily, gathering her breathe to yell at him again.

"You are leaving the island as soon as Ben gets better! Just leaving us all here! On this nightmare of an island!" she screamed angrily, resisting the urge to stomp her foot on the ground and beat her fist against something, preferably him, like a 5 year old.

His frown depend even more, and then he laughed, not hard, just a soft chuckle, but it only served to infuriate her more.

"Huh…that what they told you? 'cause I wasn't aware that deal still had any merit" he said calmly, a small smirk tugging on the corners of his lips, causing Kate to wonder whether she should slap him or kiss him.

"What do you mean?" she said, her voice still raised, though genuinely confused.

"That was the deal I made going into the surgery, before I helped you escape…AND made you promise not to come back" he added the last part, as if trying to get another rise out of her.

Ignoring the bait, Kate blinked, digesting the new information, calculating what it meant, suddenly finding herself angry again.

"Then you're an idiot" she hissed.

Jack eyes grew wide in anger, causing Kate to smirk inwardly at finally getting some emotion out of him "I did it for you!" he yelled, marching over to her, getting up in her face, and glaring down at her.

Swallowing the guilt, she hissed "Then like I said, you're an idiot!"

Eyes bulging, he seethed, steeping back and running his hand through his cropped hair.

"I don't get it, before I told you that, you were mad at me for leaving you behind, then I tell you the truth, and not the crazy others concoction and your madder at me!" he laughed bitterly, "What else do you want from me Kate?" he asked, almost sounding wounded.

The vulnerability in that statement caused Kate to freeze up, swallowing hard, and for the first time, she had to look away from him, the raw intensity of his gaze being to much.

"You're an idiot for sacrificing your freedom for me" she said, her voice just a whisper now.

"Why shouldn't I do it?" he asked, his voice just as quiet. "I had nothing to go back for, at least that way you could ..."he paused, swallowing down the bile that accompanied the image of her in Sawyers arms. "Be happy" he finished quietly.

Kate blinked, turning her head back towards him, surprised.

"And how do you figure having your supposed death on my conscious was suppose to make me happy?" she mustered out between gritted teeth at the absurdity of the idea of happiness with him dead.

He met her eyes for a brief second, she could see that, like herself, he was close to tears, and then he turned away, his face masked in darkness. He stayed quiet for a second, as the rooms echo being the only source of sound except for their ragged breath.

"Because you'd be with Sawyer." He answered, unable to hide the bitter sound of defeat, and heart ache that entered his voice despite his best effort.

She froze up, as she suddenly remembered the cameras near the cages, and her head started to spin, as she stood there gawking at him, her mouth hanging open. Swallowing down the sob of protest, her head swam thgough the ten thousand different things she wanted to say, half of them were variations of "sorry', the other half "I love you's, not him, never him" s. And a small voice in her head whispering to her to do both.

"Jack…I-" she was cut of by the screeching of the door. As Juliet and Tom entered the room.

"Its time for you to leave this camp Kate" Toms booming cheerful voice announced, his eyes giving her a sympathetic look, an apology for the interruption.

Nodding Jack stepped aside, letting Juliet tie her wrist, though she did so with surprising gentleness under Jack's scrutinizing glare.

As Juliet turned Kate to show her out, Jack grabbed her arm tightly. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, in an almost hateful tone "Don't come back Kate" before walking out, his shoulders hunched defensively.

Swallowing the tears, the guilt and the hurt she felt at his words, she lead out of the room, and along with Locke and Sayid, headed back to camp.

And this time Kate knew that she would listen too him. Not because she didn't love him, not because she wanted too, but because it was the one thing he was trying to take from her, the one thing she could let him take from her. Himself.

* * *

Okay, not exactly a happy fic, but its not...unhappy...at least I don't see it as a negative scene. Okay, so Read and Review, and if you thought this story was anygood at all check out my other fics on my profile page.


End file.
